What the Political Pundit Didn't Know About Politics

The High Archnemesis of Feminists Everywhere, Ann Coulter, who has jumped without abandon into the fray to crucify John Kerry for his Iraq comments earlier this week, is finally facing a bit of negative airtime of her own. You're not going to find me shedding any tears over that.

"TV political pundit and best-selling author Ann Coulter may be one step closer to being prosecuted for allegedly casting her vote in the wrong precinct in a Town of Palm Beach election."

What I find truly breathtaking is the juxtaposition of labeling of Ann Coulter as a "political pundit," meshed with the allegation of "voter fraud." By definition, a "pundit" is "an expert or opinion-leader, particularly in the field of political analysis." This would mean that, as a "political pundit," Coulter should be all-knowing about politics, right? I mean, that is what we would come to expect from someone who is classified as having expertise in a particular subject area, correct?

So, the average layperson should expect something as routine as, oh, say, the proper voting precinct to be impossible to botch by someone who is referred to in mainstream media as an "expert" or "opinion-leader." Yet, in all of her shining brilliance to make her vote count for the most conservative, most inane candidates that Florida had to offer up, she failed to notice that she was doing it in the wrong place. Sounds like an "expert" to me.

I would be remiss if I failed to point out how analogous this situation really is to her impact on the United States. Uninformed, criminally-motivated, and way, way off-base.

"She has been unresponsive. There's been no effort to provide the documents we requested," Anderson said. "We're not an investigating agency. We don't have the resources to continue, so I'm turning it over to the state attorney."

I never thought I'd say this, but I must really give props to the voting officials in Florida. This is beautiful, simply beautiful. Of all the people to catch committing fraud on the polls, I am most impressed with your discovery of this one, State of Florida. You really deserve a few kudos for this (although I have a long memory - don't count on me forgetting the downward spiral your polling errors thrust our country into in the first place).

If you're reading this, Coulter, heed my advice: keep your head low, and keep running. Your blatant mistakes - ones you can't weasel your way out of - are going to be wonderful press fodder for weeks to come. And that law you have so often manipulated to your advantage? It's gon' getcha! Only now, it'll work to our advantage.